11 Comments
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Kim Savo's avatar

So many things I want to say. Mostly: I am glad you wrote so we can witness you. I am glad you are alive. Also, I think this Jorie Graham poem will resonate for you. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1993/11/01/annunciation-with-a-bullet-in-it

I saw a pedestrian get hit by a drunk driver and pounded on his body to try and keep him alive while his life ran out of his head. My description of the car led to the driver's arrest. I was subpoenaed to testify. I was also a public defender and knew all too well how the criminal legal system has nothing to do with justice. I knew the driver would have to live with the knowledge they'd killed someone. I also knew that the dead stranger with whom I shared the bizarre intimacy of holding while he died was a precious human life. I told the DA that I would testify, but that I would also freely speak with defense counsel and tell the judge my thoughts about punishment and mercy. I think there can be a way to participate that is more on your own terms than the prosecutors want you to know.

I'm easy to find off Substack, for better or worse. If I can offer more private guidance and support with the legal system, don't hesitate to look me up.

Keep breathing. Keep writing.

Jennifer Patterson's avatar

I do love Jorie Graham! And thanks-- good things to keep in mind. I do have personal experience within the legal system and a long background of working in anti-violence work from an abolitionist lens and it's certainly all being tested. We will see!

Jane Parenti's avatar

no words, Jennye 😞

Jennifer Patterson's avatar

Thanks for helping us through it, Jane. <3

Christian Totty's avatar

Beautiful and aching, honest and visceral. Thank you for writing and sharing, Jennye. Sending love your way.

Jennifer Patterson's avatar

Thank you for reading and sending love right back to you too, Christian. <3

Ceda L's avatar

I'm so sorry. Sending love and prayers for protection to you and your partner. May you be safe and have all that you need despite this devastation. - Sarah, longtime reader/follower

Jennifer Patterson's avatar

Much appreciated and thank you for reading, too!

Maura James McNamara's avatar

Much love, Jennye.

Jennifer Patterson's avatar

Right back to you, Maura. <3

Alison Lancaster Beckner's avatar

Beautiful, chilling, courageous, and relatable. Prayers for your continued safety and relative peace of mind.